


Weiss Schnee And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

by KB9VCN



Category: RWBY
Genre: Gen, Humor, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-19
Updated: 2014-04-19
Packaged: 2018-08-29 12:52:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8490565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KB9VCN/pseuds/KB9VCN
Summary: Published 19-Apr-2014; humor; about 2100 words.
As I write this, Weiss' scar has not yet been explained.  If Weiss' flashback conflicts with later canon, this story could be AU.  It's kinda AU-ish anyway.
This contains slapstick violence, squick in the third scene, and mild adult humor.  Reader discretion is advised.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Published 19-Apr-2014; humor; about 2100 words.
> 
> As I write this, Weiss' scar has not yet been explained. If Weiss' flashback conflicts with later canon, this story could be AU. It's kinda AU-ish anyway.
> 
> This contains slapstick violence, squick in the third scene, and mild adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Several students sat in a lecture hall and talked amongst themselves as they prepared for class. But they suddenly fell silent when Weiss Schnee entered the room.

All eyes were on Weiss as she proudly took her seat. _These peasants have finally recognized how splendioquent I truly am_ , she thought to herself smugly.

But then, Weiss suddenly realized that she didn't have her textbooks and notes with her. _That's strange_ , she thought. _How could I forget to bring them?_

Frowning, she began to reach behind her to get some notepaper from her small backpack— only to find that she wasn't wearing her backpack either.

And then, she looked down at herself, and discovered the real reason why everyone was still blankly staring at her.

Weiss was naked.

Instead of shrieking in surprise or cowering in embarrassment, Weiss simply said two words. Her years of lessons in manners and etiquette forgotten in an instant, Weiss' natural personality was also exposed by her choice of words.

"OH SHI—"

—

With a loud gasp, Weiss sat up in her lower "bunk" bed.

She breathed out heavily, shook her head, and calmed herself— just as Ruby hung her head down from the upper bed. "Something wrong?" Ruby asked.

"AIEEE!!" said a startled Weiss. "Would you please not swing down like that, Ruby? I'm beginning to think that these bunk-beds were a mistake after all."

Ruby's upside-down face fell up. "No! Bunk-beds are cool! A bed— with a ladder! You can't beat that!"

"Except that you didn't bother to install a ladder," Weiss said, "and instead, you have repeatedly STEPPED ON MY FACE while climbing into your bed."

"I have to step on the edge of your bed to get up here," Ruby said apologetically. "Could you put your face somewhere else?"

"I was about to ask you the same question," Weiss growled.

"Anyway, what's wrong?" Ruby asked again. "I heard you cry out. Did you have a bad dream?"

"Yes," Weiss said. "But it was not frightening. Rather, it was incredibly, um, embarrassing. I'd rather not talk about it."

"Aw, c'mon," Ruby said with a cheerful upside-down smile. "I'm your friend, Weiss. You can talk to me about anything."

"Well, alright." Weiss hung her head and held a hand over her face. "I was attending a lecture, and I was, um... naked."

Yang walked up, having got up a bit earlier than the other girls. "What's up?" she asked.

"Weiss had a bad dream about going to class naked," Ruby said cheerfully.

Weiss held her face in both hands. "Ruby... as team leader, you must learn to address your team's concerns confidentially!"

"Don't sweat it," Yang said sympathetically. "I've had that dream a few times myself. But why did you call it a 'bad' dream?"

"Because it was a DREAM that was BAD?" an exasperated Weiss said.

"Really?" said a surprised Yang. "When it happened to me, I was weirded out at first, but then I thought it was kind of fun."

And then, she grinned. "Since we've both had that dream, Weiss— wanna go streaking? It's a campus tradition, ya know."

"I'm not going to dignify that suggestion with a response," Weiss said icily.

"That sounds like fun, Yang," said Ruby. "Can I come too?"

"I'm surrounded by fools and perverts," Weiss whimpered.

"C'mon, Weiss," a smirking Yang said. "Ruby's in, and I'll bet Blake would go along. You're not CHICKEN, are ya?"

"Oh no," Weiss said. "You're not going to trick me into doing something that stupid merely by calling me a coward."

"Don't worry, Weiss. No one would notice you or me," Ruby said helpfully. "They'd all watch Yang and Blake, since their chests are so much bigger than ours."

Yang grimaced. "...um, sis? Thanks for the compliment, but you probably shouldn't have said that directly to Weiss. She probably doesn't want to hear that."

"Why?" Ruby swung further down over the side of her bed, and innocently checked out Weiss from above. "...it's true, isn't it?"

Yang began to back away. "Ohhhhkay. Since you're just digging your own grave at this point, I think I'll go get ready for class."

"...um, Weiss?" said Ruby. "Did I say something stupid?... Never mind, I'm always saying something stupid. Are you mad at me?... Never mind, you're always mad at me."

Without speaking or turning to look at Ruby again, Weiss reached up and firmly grasped Ruby's loosely hanging hair.

"You're about to yank me down to the floor by my hair, aren't you," Ruby said sadly.

"Yes," Weiss said through clenched teeth.

Ruby closed her eyes and accepted her punishment. "Go ahead— YEEEK!" *** _THUD!_ ***

—

Unfortunately for Weiss, she and Ruby had the same morning class in biology, and so there was no escape from the source of most of her recent problems.

After a brief introductory lecture, the students paired off with their partners over medical dissection trays containing the preserved heads of lesser Grimm.

Weiss collected a tray and set it down between herself and Ruby. "EWW! It's looking at me, Weiss!" said a repulsed Ruby. "Make it stop looking at me!"

"Oh, for the love of—" Weiss turned the tray to face herself, and then she pulled on thin gloves and picked up a scalpel. "Why does this single small specimen trouble you? I've seen you behead, dismember, and finely mince dozens of Grimm in battle."

"Well, yeah," said Ruby, "but I didn't sit down and play with their guts! How can you be so calm, Weiss? I wouldn't think you, of all people, would be good with stuff like this."

"Unlike you," Weiss sniffed, "I am quite capable of performing a comprehensive cranial dissection. Watch closely, and try to learn something, you dunce."

And then, the professor spoke. "We'll begin with the anatomy of its optics. Please make a deep cut under the left eye, and carefully remove the eyeball."

Weiss froze. And then, she slowly raised her free hand, and silently traced the scar under her own left eye with her fingertips.

_**BEGIN FLASHBACK**_...

Weiss lay in a bed in a private medical ward, covered in her own blood and clutching at the left side of her face. She was too proud to cry out in pain, but she visibly trembled in fear.

An elderly doctor walked up to her bedside. "Oh dear. And so young... Please lower your hand, child."

Weiss complied, and the doctor quickly cleaned and examined her wound. "...the good news is, you won't lose your eye. With luck, your vision won't be impaired.

But the socket is damaged, and I must operate immediately. I'll apply a local anaesthetic, and so you won't feel any pain. But this will be extremely... unpleasant."

"I understand," the trembling Weiss whispered.

"If you cry out, no one will think less of you." The doctor looked away and spoke to medical staff standing by. "Restrain her arms and hold her head perfectly still."

As the doctor began his work, Weiss screamed in sheer primal terror.

... _ **END FLASHBACK**_

"Weiss?" asked Ruby. "Are you sure you're OK? Your hands are shaking."

"I am fine," Weiss lied through her teeth. "I can DO this. I can DO this..."

"But Weiss, you've gone pale," a worried Ruby said. "Or rather, even more pale than usual."

"I am FINE," Weiss lied again. "Please be quiet, Ruby."

"But Weiss—" Ruby protested.

Weiss cut her off with a threat to cut her off. "If you will not KEEP! YOUR! MOUTH! SHUT! I will use this scalpel to CUT! OUT! YOUR! TONGUE!"

A wide-eyed and terrified Ruby drew back and held both hands over her mouth.

—

Team RWBY and Team JNPR sat down to eat lunch together. As a visibly stricken Weiss picked at her fruit salad, the other seven friends stared at her.

"What happened to her?" Yang asked Ruby.

Weiss had not yet given Ruby permission to speak again in her presence. "Mmm hmm hmm mmm mmm hmm mmm," Ruby mumbled unhelpfully. 

"No offense, hon, but you look like hell," Yang said to Weiss. "You oughta take the afternoon off."

"I cannot," Weiss said in a strained voice. "I have a mathematics mid-term exam this afternoon."

"Surely you could ask to schedule a make-up exam?" Pyrrha asked.

"No, I must take this exam before anything else happens to me," Weiss said bitterly. "If I postpone the exam, I might lose my sanity before I can sit for it."

"I've never heard you talk like this before, Weiss," said a worried Jaune. "Maybe you should get some help—"

Weiss slowly turned to Jaune and fixed him with a dead-eyed stare that chilled his very soul. "WHY DO YOU SAY THAT, JAUNE?" she said in an unnaturally calm voice that was still far too loud. "DO YOU THINK THAT I NEED HELP, JAUNE?"

Jaune, and everyone else at the table, slowly drew away from her.

—

Weiss picked up a copy of her mathematics exam from her professor's desk, and then took a seat in the front row of the classroom. "There are five problem-sets of increasing difficulty," the professor said. "You have ninety minutes to complete the exam. You may begin now."

Weiss turned to the last page of the exam, with the intent of completing the most difficult problems first. She felt some of her self-confidence return as she skimmed through the problems. _I know how to solve every problem in this set_ , she thought, as she began to write down perfectly-aligned rows and columns of numbers and symbols in her immaculate handwriting. _And if this is the most difficult set of problems, then it will be easy to complete the exam_.

Some time later, a pleased Weiss set down her pencil, took a deep breath and stretched her arms. _The fifth problem-set is done_ , she thought. _I wonder how much time is left to complete the first four sets—_

As if on cue, the professor spoke to the class again. "You have thirty minutes."

_Uh oh_ , thought Weiss.

—

After somehow completing three of the remaining four problem-sets for an 80% score, and turning in her incomplete exam with seconds to spare, an utterly dejected Weiss staggered back to her room.

The rest of Team RWBY looked up as she weaved through the open doorway. "How'd it go, Weiss?" a hopeful Yang asked.

Weiss answered her question indirectly by passing out and falling to the floor.

—

Weiss opened her eyes, and found herself back in her bed in a darkened room. She realized that the sun had set, and that she had apparently been out for a few hours.

In an instant, Blake was at her side. "How are you feeling?" Blake asked with great concern.

"...better," Weiss said. "What happened?"

"We called the house physician after you passed out," Blake said. "She said that you're completely exhausted. You've been ordered to take twenty-four hours' bed-rest."

Weiss began to sit up. "But this is only Thursday! What of tomorrow's classes?—"

"STOP," Blake said with surprising authority. "Lay DOWN, Weiss. Um, please. Even a Huntress needs some down time, you know."

"...very well." Weiss flopped back down, and suddenly realized that she was in her nightclothes. "Wha?... Who changed me out of my school uniform?"

Blake blushed, and then she looked away and rubbed her neck in embarrassment. "It- it couldn't be helped! If I'd left you in your uniform, then it would get wrinkled, and..."

Weiss smiled, despite herself. "It's alright, Blake. Thank you for being so thoughtful... By the way, where are Ruby and Yang?"

"They invited themselves over to Team JNPR's room for an impromptu slumber party." Blake said. "They were worried about you, but they realized that what you really need now is peace and quiet."

"I must thank them for being so thoughtful, as well," a touched Weiss thought out loud.

"Can I get you anything?" Blake asked. "Or would you like to talk? I'm not much of a talker..."

"Thank you again, Blake. But, since it has come to this, I think that I will try to rest quietly."

"In that case," Blake said, "I'll be reading in my bed. Just speak up if you need anything."

After a few minutes, Weiss reopened her eyes and spoke without moving. "I'm not used to this much peace and quiet. It almost feels as if something is missing."

"Mmm," Blake agreed.

Suddenly, the unmistakeable sound of Jaune's high-pitched screams could be heard from across the hall, followed by Ruby, Yang and Nora's hysterical laughter at Jaune's unseen latest humiliation.

Weiss smiled again. "Ah. That is better."

"Mmm," Blake agreed again.


End file.
